The Wise Man Exercises Self-Control
Last week (March 19), we studied yet another major theme of the book of Proverbs: a wise man exercises self-control. We began our lesson by recapping the overarching theme of this wisdom literature, that the wise man is contrasted to the fool; wise men seek the things of God and His discernment, but the fool rejects these things and, ultimately, rejects God.
Last week, we turned to a few pieces of Scripture, but we started with Proverbs 16:32 (NASB): “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, And he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.” This Proverb teaches us a very simple, yet incredibly helpful, idea: we are called to respond to the external circumstances around us, not to react to them. In fact, the Hebrew word for “rules” here means to have dominion and reign over a thing. Here, we see that mighty men and conquerors are considered lesser beings than the one who exercises this dominion over his spirit and in his response to these circumstances.
In conjunction with this passage, we also looked at Proverbs 25:28: “Like a city that is broken into and without walls is a man who no control over his spirit.” See, when we respond to the drama and various events around us, we ought to do the opposite of the person who reacts. The person who is reactive and has no control tears down their walls and fortresses and leaves themselves exposed to the dangers outside. But the wise man, in keeping restraint and control, actually builds up a defense against these hostile forces. The summation of these two passages was given to the students in this way: we do not let emotional reactions dictate our behaviors, but instead we respond with sound mind and biblical counsel. Emotions are a gift from God, but they are never meant to take the reigns over our actions.
When we do not exercise self-control, we become trapped in this state of tension and chaos called cognitive dissonance. I gave our students a helpful chart for this, but the way this works in our lives can be easily defined this way: we have a belief/idea, and then we have an action, behavior, attitude, etc. that does not agree with our beliefs. These behaviors and beliefs are contradictory and do not align with each other. Therefore, this tension and chaos leaves us with 2 choices. We can either continue in the chaos and avoid aligning our behaviors to our beliefs, or we can work towards resolution. Most of the time, this means we need to adjust our behaviors to match up with our beliefs.
We looked at two examples of cognitive dissonance and a biblical “resolution” to the chaos. First, we were in 1 Samuel 15:8-23. Here, Saul was commanded to destroy Amalek and “all that he has … [and] put to death” every living thing because of their great wickedness against Israel when they were in the wilderness (vv. 2-3; cf. Exodus 17:8-16; Deuteronomy 25:17-19). But Saul did not follow this command and, instead, captured the king alive and kept the best of the livestock (vv. 8-9). Because of this, the Lord regretted Saul being king, and Samuel confronted him. Here is the chaos: Saul was given a command from God, and he did not act on that command. Samuel came to Saul to rebuke him, and Saul’s response was a commitment to the inferior choice in this dissonance: chaos. He told Samuel that they kept the best to “sacrifice to the Lord your God” (vv. 15, 20). Samuel’s response is both chilling and a needed reminder: “Has the Lord as much delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices As in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, And to heed than the fat of rams. (v. 23). Thus, the Lord rejected Saul from being king, and though Saul would eventually repent and confess his sin, his initial response was to justify what had been done.
Now let’s turn to king David in 2 Samuel 12:1-13. This passage follows immediately on the heels of David’s great sin with Bathsheba, committing adultery with her and murdering her husband when she became pregnant. Here, Nathan comes to rebuke David, and narrates a metaphor of a man who does not follow the letter of the law, and David’s response to this story was burning anger (v. 5). What David failed to see, and what Nathan would point out, is that David IS that man (v. 7). Again, here is the chaos: David believed the letter of God’s law was good (murder and adultery are evil), but he failed to obey its commands. But David, unlike Saul, did not attempt to justify his sin. Instead, he repents immediately (v. 13). He would still experience the consequences of his sin, but David’s posture toward this dissonance was one seeking resolution and re-alignment with the Lord, which speaks heavily to the idea that David was a man after God’s heart (1 Samuel 13:14). And may this be a reminder for us all, that God desires a repentant heart, and order instead of chaos.
